Saturday, January 29, 2011
Old Photo Booth Picture
I watched a really ridiculous movie tonight. It's about these guys who end up in a hot tub that also happens to be a time machine. I won't go into exactly what makes this movie something I won't watch again because that's not the point. I will give the movie this much though, it got me thinking.
If you had a chance to go back in time, would you change anything? Or would you do exactly what you did so that everything in your life now would remain the same?
I went through a lot growing up. Some of it was really, really good, and some of it was really, really bad. There are actually huge gaping holes in my memory - times that my brain has decided are better left forgotten. Many of my memories are quite literally snapshots of times I am sure I must remember, but can't quite recollect. That's not to say everything is a blur - because it's not. There are definitely things I wish I could forget, and much that I am so thankful to be able to hold onto. There are times that I think would be nice to go back and change... but I wouldn't. Why? Because it made me who I am today.
I have a saying I revert back to often. God always makes good from bad. And I can honestly say there isn't anything in my life that He hasn't used for glory. I think about who I have crossed paths with. People that were sure no one could understand where they were coming from. People who were convinced that they weren't worth anything, and that hope was lost. I think of my youngest... and the love I have for her birth parents. I think about the trials my children will face. I think of my friends. And even though it sounds so contrary to what the world teaches, I find myself thankful that the hurts I endured made it possible for me to relate to them, for me to understand them, and for me to love them, and for me to understand the power of forgiveness. I am thankful for the pain, because the pain made me real and helped me to understand that transparency is the only way I can live my life, if I am to live it fully.
So no... If I could go back into time, and change things, I wouldn't. I like whats been done with who I have become.